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September 04, 2006: "shortcomings of the phone"
i was upstairs reading when i heard this obnoxious ringing that didn't seem to want to stop. i was about to hit something because hitting something is the answer to everything, when it occurred to me...
oh, it's my phone.
so, i scurried down the stairs and opened door after door (the house sports many giant french doors that seem to be happier when closed) and maybe running into one or three along the way. i finally found my phone in the dark room (as in, the unlit library, not an actual darkroom, sadly) and the call was not worth the what must have been at least two-mile trek. first of all, when the display reads "restricted," it can't be very good, but i wasn't about to let nearly killing myself be in vain, even if it means i had to sit through a two-minute conversation from a friend who's clearly off her rocker and has too much time on her hands.
in a horrifying southern accent, she told me something along the lines of, "why, hello, connie! being the attractive young woman you are, i suggest you get your ass to the local church and get on your knees. your impure thoughts are responsible for your entrance to hell, but blah blah blah i stopped listening. ...so make sure you use condoms, young lady! but you should not be so lusty, yet if you find yourself pregnant, get yourself immediately to the local clicnic and get an abortion! well, yes, that's one option, the other is to just get a knife and cut that baby right out. then cut up some chicken and lasagna, you see. chicken salad works, too."
'k, bye.
and, what kind of fool uses a knife for chicken salad?? absurdity at its absolute finest.
[Kelsey] Wednesday, September 6th
that's when you say "umm.. I'm Jewish." the "Jew" card leaves em speechless. :D
[Jules] Wednesday, September 6th
What in gods name?! That is the weirdest phonecall ever.
[Nan] Wednesday, September 6th
Wow I am all confused now - I am afraid of picking up my phone unless I know who is calling - it's stupid - but the way it is.
[Jenn] Wednesday, September 6th
Oh thank you. I know, I love 30 Seconds To mars, Jared's awesome. But it's all four of them. Well...I have to go and refill some of the tattoo, but I'm so happy about it. I love the alyout, it's so beautiful. *hugs*
[Jeanelle] Tuesday, September 5th
Lmao that phone call seems really random.
I keep my phone with me all the time lol. When I don't answer it, it's because I can't find it in my purse cuz I have so much junk in it xD
[Dan] Tuesday, September 5th
Hahaha!
Connie, that totally made my day.
I've so done that before. It's the most annoying thing in the world, isn't it?
Bleh. You race to the phone, and for nothing.
[andre] Tuesday, September 5th
pointless phone calls are so much fun, especially when they are like the one you have experienced! you need to freak those people out! yell into the phone telling them your two year old daughter needs a whipping and she will have to call you later... that's a little harsh :satisfied:
[Elena] Tuesday, September 5th
Omg wow. How immature. What a pointless phonecall. I get those all the time only its either the survey people ~_~, wrong number or my friends. It was definitely not worth picking up.
[Kim] Tuesday, September 5th
Oh my, what a weird conversation?
I would use a knife with chicken salad if the chicken was big enough and needed cutting materials... But in genrally isn't, lol.
I know what you mean about the useless comments thing. I mean, it's nice to have people come along and say that your site is nice and all, but it would be much nicer if they actually meant it. It's so much nicer to read a comment where someone says something about what you've written. Know what I mean?
Anyway, I gotta go finish getting ready for school now.
Thank you so much for leaving me a comment.
Take care.
Kim. xx
[Minna] Tuesday, September 5th
How sick :D that call sounds totally absurd! I guess I'd have thought I was dreaming... hehe. Weird things happen.
[Dana] Tuesday, September 5th
Lmfao!! Haha wow that lady/person is totally on crackk. What a lame call, and how did they know your name!? Haha I would have hung up on um.
Thanks for the comment =D. I really like your site, the layout is different, and in a good way ;).
[Sarah] Tuesday, September 5th
Hi, i ♥ your site!
10/10
[Julia] Tuesday, September 5th
heey thx for ur comment :) i like ur emoticons here haha.. umm yeah ive got a friend like ur too.. she's always telling me that im too..hm well never mind :D
oh and ur layout is just awesome.. have just been checking through it ^^
[Jules] Tuesday, September 5th
Hiya,
thanks for visiting my site!!
I've been seven months in the uk! sorry to confuse you lol, anyway your site is fantastic keep up the great work on it!!
Thankyou for your comment!!
Jules :)
[Stephanie] Tuesday, September 5th
Heyyy =]
Nice layout ^_^ Love the colors.
Anyway, what an interesting phone call... lmao.
[Lauren] Tuesday, September 5th
thanks for the comment!
ahh, i hate stupid calls. that call was very odd.
[Kiera] Tuesday, September 5th
lmfao!!! that's freakin hilarious. and sad. I'm sorry you have people saying that crap to you about god and what not. but seriously, who uses a knife for chicken salad?
<3 kiera.
[Adele!] Tuesday, September 5th
HAHA Connie you never fail to make me laugh with your blogs!! :rolleyes:
lmao! i do hate running after a phone call and its just my mom... lol i dont actually understand what your phone call was about seemed quite random and fun! lol thanks for your comment
adele.x
[nancy] Tuesday, September 5th
thanks for commenting on my site, was wondering if you'd like to do link exchange with me?
[Jenn~] Monday, September 4th
Oh my.. such a weird one way convo, haha~ I hate when it says restricted, or if I don't recognize the number then I don't answer, they can leave a message, hehe~
[CJ] Monday, September 4th
rotf! Yeah, I've definitely done that a million times, the 2 mile trek to get to the phone on it's last ring. And then it either ends up being a) someone who wants you to take a survey, or b) my brother's REALLY annoying ex-girlfriend who calls every fifteen minutes, even when she's working. God She is so annoying. but I digress.
LOL I know, re: my blog. I figured if I didn't actually have to state any names or subjects I wouldn't have to give a back story to what I was talking about. Saves me some typing time. (and also saves me those precious brain cells i mentioned earlier.) and bwah yes he should definitely go "suck it."
[Keng] Monday, September 4th
Lol, I don't drink (and don't really intend to), but thanks. :)
[Keng] Monday, September 4th
First off, I am loving the new layout very much. :) It's always great to see something new and off the badly-beaten path when it comes to layouts. ;)
Yay hitting something! Me, I prefer hitting someone, aka my youngest brother, just because we love each other like that. :P But yeah, it's always fun. Haha.
absurdity at its absolute finest
Agreed.
stalker(s)