apologies for not blogging in ten years! ...what, it's been five days? that's the true definition of a decade.
thunderstorms have been a-brewing here since saturday, which is when the ill-timed nightmare began. the internet went down (very déjà vu - i recall writing a post regarding this a few years back. and by years, you know i mean a month ago). at the time, proverbial balls were naturally being sucked because i had yet to complete many, many papers before school commences next week. in need of the internet, i spent the last few nights hibernating at the local library, in a cubicle banging on what must have been a pre-prehistoric computer.
"ten years ago," i wished the cable modem was a sentient object with feelings, just so i could strangle it.
(it's best to stay away from me - and my sharp teeth, in particular - when i'm undergoing internet predicaments. and when i'm experiencing womanly troubles)
today, i'm ready to smother it with affection that could only be described as inappropiate. our relationship is going somewhere girl and cable modem should never go.
connie grabbed a duck on 083006 @ 02:00 PM EST
first things first: i confess. i did not even begin the aforementioned paper from wednesday, august 23, 2006 (the date reminds me of just how far into august we are). oh, woe is me. however, i assure you, i occupied the time that could have been dedicated to the paper to do much more momentous things. really, we're talking world peace sort of stuff, except without the "world" or "peace."
remember the lemonade? no? well, you probably didn't read that or could stand for some memory surgery, or both. but fear not, this story isn't quite related to the lemonade except that it involved my culinary expertise again.
i've embarked on yet another escapade. the new challenge: baking a cake.
from a box.
heck yes, we're in the big league now; betty crocker and pilsbury (do they make cake?) and all that. a friend of mine suffered from a dancing injury recently (who will hereby be referred to as "crippled friend"), and another friend and i decided to bake her a cake (this friend shall be "not crippled friend"). why a cake? because it solves everyone's problems, or at least makes for a guilty pleasure to drown your sorrows in and forget about life for awhile - much like the effect MTV has, except cake isn't really synonymous with annoying little teenagers crying about having too much money.
some people believe opening the package, cracking the eggs, and mixing the other many ingredients (...water) is the most difficult part, for when you pop that baby in the oven, it's all smooth sailing from there.
uhhuhyeah no.
not crippled friend and i spent a good ten minutes mixing everything in a nice big bowl, when we discovered our gorgeous chocolate batter was littered with lumps. we proceeded to try to eliminate these lumps, whether by stirring vigorously and consequently flicking chocolate everywhere, or violently beating at the hideous chunks.
needless to say, we later discovered that these chunks were actually chocolate chips.
oh, how pleasant.
this fine discovery was made through the power of reading the box, which was our bible throughout this gastronomic adventure. i faithfully read the bible again, and it instructed us to pour the batter into two round pans. we didn't have two round pans, so we settled for one round pan. i suppose my math could stand for some improvement.
... after thirty minutes, the cake grew to monstrous porportions and began to assume the shape of a very large muffin. we quickly took out our large muffin cake for fear of explosion and realized we were running late. we quickly frosted the cake, neglecting to remove it from the pan. the hot cake rejected and melted the frosting and was soon naked again, and we were now faced with the dilemma of removing the cake from the pan. after one minute of panic, followed by two minutes of deep pondering, we just flipped the cake over and frosted the other side.
a cake frosted on all sides is heavenly.
anyway, i'll cut this short; i apologize for this long entry. in the end, crippled friend enjoyed the cake, not crippled friend and i sang happy birthday for the sake of singing happy birthday (we even poorly constructed a paper hat for crippled friend to sport), and here was the finished product before we devoured it: a masterpiece (which we left on the doorstep and hid in the bushes while we waited for her to answer the door - obviously the proper way to present cake).
connie grabbed a duck on 082506 @ 07:33 PM EST
i originally didn't want to blog today because i figured you could all use a break from the silly nothings that is my blog. but i was this close (... that close) to writing a paper for a comparative governments class. naturally, this cannot happen. every minute not spent on doing work is a good minute spent. blogging, researching the cure for cancer, and exterminating creepy-crawly creatures (alliteration, baby) fall into this category. school does not yet commence until a week into september, but somehow, the school has managed to manipulate my mind into thinking about an 18-page paper throughout my summer.
those sneaky sons of bitches.
pardon mon français; i'm only annoyed the school has won in the game of "howto become a millionaireinflict pain on the children."
bastards.
'tis enough french for the day. have a good one. :)
(PS: my russian paper will be about that dead chechen man, yay! it pains me i must depart to write that now)
connie grabbed a duck on 082306 @ 10:20 PM EST
sugarclimate conditions
explored the wonders of the outdoors today. and by "exploring the wonders," i mean, "was outside for a few minutes and decided to go inside and make lemonade." a month ago, a friend and i wanted lemonade, but life is funny and works out in the way that when you want lemonade, you don't always have it. and it's not really funny.
oh, yes, that's life.
aware of life's tricks, we were prepared today, and we successfully overcame the toils that only making lemonade can bring. that is, finding a pitcher to pour the mix and add ice and water into.
yeah, that took awhile.
but once we located an extremely chic, plastic blue container, we were rolling. needless to say, the product was good and lemony. i would offer you some, but you're not here, so, instead, i'll supply you with the weather reports in the local area at the moment: 83°F (but wait! it feels like) 82°F. it's all about the feeling. the humidity is 36%, and the dew point is 53°F.
got to love that dew.
happy tuesday.
connie grabbed a duck on 082206 @ 05:38 PM EST
i'm really grateful for all the suggestions regarding my work ethic, and i took them all to heart. really, i did, so i'm proud to tell you that i haven't completed any work since.
well, i guess i'm not really proud of that, but i'm genuinely thankful that people actually listened to me. that's pretty cool.
went out to new york city yesterday to have a day with my sister. upon our rendezvous in her apartment, i immediately went to do this: a foto: the real new york experience.
yeah, whatever. i'm immature.
anyway, we hiked all of manhattan in heels, but i think i'll always choose artifical height over happy feet. en route back to new jersey, i had an intractable battle with mind. or whatever is the root of drowsiness. it was much too difficult of a task to stay awake, but i did, hurray! if my eyes had faltered, i probably would've missed my stop and ended up in ohio. of course, the prospect of skipping my stop and beginning a new life in ohio was what pushed me to keep my eyes open. that, and the lemonade, frappuccino, and water scornfully swirling inside of me.
zero for sleepiness, one for connie and her bladder.
(PS: new layout, featuring the lyrics of "nobody" by five for fighting and a really old building in pennsylvania; apologies for any substandard pages at the moment)
connie grabbed a duck on 082006 @ 09:41 PM EST
someone needs to tell me how to get work done. i almost wish i could lock myself in a room for a day, but then i wouldn't be able to go to the bathroom. unless i did work in the facilities, but... ?
so that's not really a wish anymore.
just a few words to show life, but i'd appreciate any advice anyway. words of encouragement welcomed.
like, "get off your ass, bitch, and do something useful!"
that's welcomed.
(PS: linking TFIMC: IV on ali's LJ, until i write up a page here. i can't even do droll web work that's ultimately senseless but still fun. darn.)
connie grabbed a duck on 081706 @ 08:44 PM EST
grabaduck was first brought into the interweb yesterday, wednesday, august 9, 2005 (i felt the need to write the entire date because i have no clue what day it is... but i at least have a clue now. see? it's thursday). anyway, it's been renewed, so it's another year of grabaduck.
mm...ducks.
not many exciting updates in PA. the cat continues licking herself with spectators, and she spent around eight minutes playing with string. the string was green. like grass.
i wandered around downtown in state college yesterday and today, although i spent most of yesterday holed up in a corner at the library. if i try to do work at the house, i almost either end up falling asleep immediately or falling asleep... not so immediately. either way, it results in sleep, and sleep is happiness, and happiness is good.
suffice it to say, i didn't fall asleep at the library. i'm proud.
connie grabbed a duck on 081006 @ 10:51 PM EST
i'm sitting in the house of my brother and his girlfriend in pennsylvania right now, next to a cat having the time of her life licking her paw.
actually, she's moved on to grooming her rear, which obviously must have taken years to perfect. any animal that can lick her own derriere is pretty cool and a good conversation starter. "yeah, the weather's pretty good... want to see what i can do?" too bad it's wasted on a cat. i guess i really shouldn't be watching this, but she seems happier with an audience.
that's my update with my visit to the keystone state. watching cats try to eat themselves is a coveted existence.
connie grabbed a duck on 080706 @ 11:09 PM EST
went scrapbooking at a friend's today. right, what was previously a noun is now a verb because verbs are easier. and they start with a "v."
upon my arrival, her dog welcomed me with the classic canine greeting of a smelling of the crotch. after my crotch gained the dog's approval, i went to help with our project. if only i had taken a photo of the scrapbooking scene because i probably won't be giving an accurate portrayal... her dining room was transformed into a sort of paradise where all the good sheets of colorful paper and stickers go when they die. a paper heaven.
actually, that was totally accurate. and you always wondered where paper went when it died.
to my friend's dining room, of course.
anyway, we spent half the time searching for stencils and pens in the mass that once upon a time used to be a table. the day was interspersed with raw cookies and purchasing ginger labels.
and, i seized the day and sliced paper on a paper cutter.
it's. so. cool.
when you need your paper cut, who you going to call?ghostbusters!connie.
connie grabbed a duck on 080406 @ 07:12 PM EST
stalker(s)