Archive for the ‘foto’ Category

be nice… to… children?

August 16, 2010 - 9:27 pm 13 Comments

i went to a park today because i promised my friend that there’s a petting zoo next to said park and that we would pet animals. although there was a farm nearby, a sign next to the entrance warned us not to feed or pet the animals inside. so. um…

maybe in my memory i just remember touching the animals.

as wrong as that may be.

today, we trekked through woods in casual clothes and open-toed shoes, while many a runner and other sporty types did their thing. there was also a man with hiking poles, which was definitely more out of place than i was because he was next to a very large, very paved, main road at the time.

very flat.

nice try, dude (i think he was around sixty years of age and maybe they were walking aids, but i already said they were for hiking, so there).

eventually we stopped at the playground because there was this peculiar swing that was just a large dish, and there were all these kids piled onto it, and what was bound to be somebody’s parent was pushing them, and it just looked so much fun. and after waiting politely after at least fifteen kids went on it (jesus christ, why isn’t there school in the summer??), my friend and i swung for about three minutes until this kid on a nearby bench told us, rather discourteously, “i’m waiting for the swing.” so like the good adults we pretended to be, we stopped the swing, let him climb on, and eyed him menacingly from another bench because what the hell, that was our swing.

he so did not swing as high as we did. silly six year-old boy whose feet could not touch the ground. i laugh at you.

oh, and on a separate note, once i saw this, guess what i did.

damn straight.

i don’t know how we used to play on playgrounds as children because a lot of the things are freaking scary now, including the jungle gym. it’s so highly elevated that the altitude is probably really dangerous for proper breathing… and falling would hurt a lot. what’s more, it’s like you need to know axiomatic geometry to navigate through that big rope ball. i just don’t know how i survived as a kid. oh, right. it’s because i was so. fearsome.

actually, i don’t think that’s the right word.

these pictures are to prove the massive heights i conquered. you can see the truth now.

jungle gym 1jungle gym 2

hidden cameras are so tricky

August 10, 2010 - 4:43 pm 23 Comments

my cousin’s wedding is coming up at the end of this month, and i’m really excited because that means i have to go shopping (as in, i must do it, and anything otherwise would be wrong). i stopped by the mall last week to browse the possibilities and decided to take photos, just so i could post them on here and ask for your opinions. oh, and i also e-mailed my sister the pictures and her replies were (first) “oh yes i do like them” (and right after) “this is what you do in the dressing room?”

… yeah.

i haven’t been to a wedding since i was a wee child (ok, i think i was twelve. does that still qualify as wee?), so i’m not positive on how appropriate these are. i question their formality, but my sister says they’re all fine.

dress #1 front

dress #1 side

dress #2 side

dress #3 side

dress #4 side

i was twenty seconds away from ripping myself out of that first strapless dress (à la the incredible hulk) because i couldn’t get it off! for some reason, my chest likes giving me a problem nearly every time i want to go strapless, and i had to stomp around and jump up and down trying to slide that thing off of me, almost to no avail. i was honestly thinking about tearing some seams to get some reprieve, but i got really tired at some point, and with the dress bunched up all around me, i rested against the wall momentarily when i saw a sign that said the dressing room was being monitored by same gendered personnel for security.

aw, shit.

so then i was thinking how it sucks that i have to pay for a dress i only got to wear once in a dressing room because i am definitely going to have to rip it off, and the same gendered personnel was going to see this (after she witnessed my crazy tantrum, no less)… or i could call for help. but since my pride said that i didn’t need someone to help me undress, the only option left was property damage, clearly.

but because i was also taught that quitting is for the weak, i summoned one last burst of energy, and then i was magically liberated!

wow, i have enough brawn to get out of a dress.

what kind of superhero does this make me?