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the first weird thing that happened today was when i woke up. no, really, the emphasis is on when i woke up: eight a.m. yesterday, i went into manhattan to catch the taping of the daily show with jon stewart. and if i was OMGTVGIRL enough i would screencap where i am on that episode, put it on my blog, and put lots of exclamation points after it.

but that’s not me.

i got home late that night, took a shower, and crashed on my bed. that is the exact and only order of events, and not only did i still wake up at eight this morning (really, let’s put this in perspective, ok? i only have so many weeks left until higher education reenters my life and pretends like it’s actually something important), i really got up. brushed my teeth and everything.

what the hell? is this what growing up is?

the second weird thing that happened today is that i was just going to lie around my friend’s pool – easy stuff, man; it was surface of the sun temperature today and exactly what i needed after yesterday – but i ended up shopping for pet lizards (because my friend thinks “it’s time” for her to get one). which, by the way, is not easy because:

1) there are so many freaking lizards in the pet store. ok, yeah, i knew there would be a lot of weird looking species in the world itself, but the pet store? you’re just making more work for me. do you really think i care if the lizard grows to 13 inches or 15 inches? my friend is probably going to kill it in a month.

2) they apparently need a lot of crap to survive, which is more work for me yet again because i have to find all this crap. but thankfully my friend and i are nearly always on the same wavelength and just opted for the $60 box that touted itself as a “desert lizard kit.” heck yeah, that’s what i’m talking about.

3) i have to get pet store guy to teach me the ways of the lizard owner, much to his dismay, since my friend and i came directly from the pool, where i was essentially half dressed and wet, and this just wasn’t the right look to convince him that the lizard and its cage would be completely ok hiding under my friend’s dorm bed at university. i think i won pet store guy over when i asked for an alternative to the lizard’s diet of live crickets and meal worms.

he gave one of those looks.

evidently, there is no such alternative, but really, in my heart of hearts, i think those things can probably live on fish food or something. crickets and worms are probably for the upper level lizards.

i am so freaking tired.

i think his name is muchacho.

i went to yellowstone national park last saturday by transferring from newark, new jersey to denver, colorado, and then from colorado to cody, wyoming.

or so that was the plan.

apparently the airplanes at colorado are really particular about the heat, and it was 100+ degrees fahrenheit the day i flew into denver. twenty minutes from landing, the pilot was doing that fancy “ladies and gentlemen, we’re 23523523 feet from the ground (… or whatever), 20 minutes from landing in denver, colorado. it is currently over one hundred degrees, and i think we are going to die.” ok, maybe it didn’t sound exactly like that, and maybe the pilot did not actually propagate doom, but i know that was basically the gist.

(heck yeah, i did those fourth grade reading workbooks where you learn to read between the lines)

but anyway, so the crew basically repeated the temperature four more times, which is nothing new to me because not only is my home state of new jersey faithfully hot around this time of year but also so disgustingly humid i’m pretty sure i can breathe while inhaling moisture. you know, like a fish. but nooo, denver insisted that this heat put the pretty planes at risk, so my flight, which ordinarily obliges thirty passengers, slimmed its allowance to twelve.

and yeah, i wasn’t part of that.

i’ll spare of us of reliving what then followed, but i want to add that denver airport should man up and fly in the heat like… men. redundant? maybe. but yeah, you heard me, denver. you weren’t a man that day.

in other news, yellowstone national park is cool because it contains a supervolcano, and this volcano didn’t blow up in my face. i also like how buffalos and elk roam the land because they make reasonable scenery, and i was able to eat one or the other at just about every meal during my trip.

it’s really lovely out there. (by the way, i find it really odd how unreal and photoshopped the following photo looks)

canyon, west yellowstone, wyoming

grand teton mountain, teton, WY

mammoth springs, WY

i included this last one because my sister thinks i look like an idiot. and …well, yeah.